Past and Future

Friday, Nov. 27, 2015

To all who have read this column since it began a year ago: I owe you a debt of thanks and a sincere apology. 

The thanks are for your phone calls, letters, emails and in-person compliments, which tell me that these musings have resonated with you in ways that I can only attribute to the Holy Spirit, to whom I pray every time I sit down to write one.

The apologies are due to the fact that, in going back over the columns from the past 12 months, I realize that I have a very unflattering tenancy to whine. I know I lean toward melancholia, but it seems as though every other column moaned about something: my failure at contemplative prayer and lectio divina, my obtuseness when it comes to grasping the wisdom of the Desert Fathers and St. Augustine, my foot hurting, my mother’s car being stolen. 

This unattractive trait was exposed after a friend suggested that I re-read these columns, which started at the beginning of Advent last year, to see how far I’ve come on my faith journey. Going through them in one sitting, I cringed at how much I gripe and grumble. On the positive side, I see that I have become much more aware of God’s presence in this world, and discovered some methods of improving my prayer life.

In anticipation of the start of the new liturgical year (Advent begins Sunday), I’m trying to determine where to go from here. Up to this point my approach has been haphazard: I’ll read whatever book comes across my path, or explore something like contemplative prayer simply because I’d heard about it. It’s been an interesting journey, but it’s time to try a more structured method. I’m going to start an online theology program, which also offers the advantage of feedback – doing this by myself, I often wonder if I’m developing a sound theology or whether I’m heading down the wrong path. Then, too, it’ll be nice to discuss with others what they think about these matters. 

I do plan to continue reading books as I encounter them. I’ve already started one, Rediscover Jesus, by Matthew Kelly, that offers plenty of food for thought. Kelly suggests using it as a 40-day spiritual journey – each day reading one chapter and then contemplating the points, Biblical verses, questions and prayers at the end of each section.

Of course, this would be a perfect book for Lent, but it caught my attention now – Chapter One is titled “New Beginnings,” and that’s precisely where I’m at. I like the format, too: The chapters are two to four pages long, the questions are thought-provoking and the actions suggested are within my capabilities.

One last Advent resolution: to put my faith into action through social justice efforts. Over and over again, everyone from Jesus to Pope Francis calls us Catholics to aid the poor, the downtrodden, the helpless and the needy. I can’t use the excuse that my faith isn’t deep enough – what do I have to believe other than that my budget can handle a check to Catholic Community Services or that I can contact my congressman to tell him I want him to support a certain political position that reflects the Church’s teaching? At the very least, I can pray for these needs  – I don’t think I can continue to consider myself a Christian unless I am willing to look beyond myself and do what I can to bring about the Kingdom of God, which I am trying to reach.

Oh, yeah. I can’t forget the first Advent resolution: Stop complaining!